This is a featured post written by a seasoned writer, psychologist and a counsellor. Margarita Tartovoski is an associate writter at psychcentral.com. Her articles are inspiring, on-point and above board. A lot stand to be gained from her wealth of experience in relationship counselling. Stay with me as I bring to you excerpts from her 17 Questions To Ask Your Partner
Couples who have strong bonds remain interested in each other. They remain curious about each other’s experiences and inner lives, such as their thoughts, Feelings, and fears. As such, a great way to cultivate your connection is to talk about these inner worlds — because good communication goes beyond talk of tasks, errands and kids. (Those topics, of course, also are important. But so is delving into the intimate and often overlooked conversations.)
Several relationship experts for their suggestions for meaningful, fun or thought-provoking questions that partners
can ask each other. Here’s what they shared…
1. How was your day today?
It’s such a simple, straightforward question. But in the chaos of daily living, you might forget to ask it. “This allows people to share specifics and stay connected on a day-to-day basis,” said Mudita Rastogi, Ph.D, a licensed marriage and family therapist in Arlington
2. What do you need from me right now?
This is an important question to ask when your
partner is having a difficult day, Rastogi said. “It allows the asking partner to tailor their help to what is needed.”
3. How do I express my anger and conflict?
This is a question that each partner asks themselves, responding out loud while the other partner listens. According to Beverly Hills clinical psychologist Fran Walfish, PsyD, the number one determining factor for
a healthy, lasting relationship is managing conflict effectively. That includes listening without interruption, being willing to discuss issues, tolerating differences and strategizing solutions, she said.
4. What are you looking forward to today, this week and this month?
“This helps you tune in to what your partner enjoys,” Rastogi said. Plus, it balances out the more serious and potentially negative topics, she said.
5. Am I being a good spouse to you?
6. What are three things that I do that you couldn’t live without?
7. What are the ways you most experience or feel love from me or from what I do?
“It is important to check in regularly to see if what you are doing and saying is positively feeding the relationship,” said Erik R. Benson, MSW, LCSW, a private therapist in the Chicago and North Suburbs area. He suggested asking these three questions.
8. If you could be a character in any book, which character would you be, and why?
9. If you could go back in time to your teenage self, what two words would you say?
Benson also shared these two questions, which his wife, who works in the special education field, has asked him to help her get to know him better.
10. Describe the perfect you day (or if you could do anything you wanted for a day, what would it be?
This is another question Benson’s wife has asked him. Such information helps her plan activities, dates and gifts, he said.
LAST BULLET : My Dear Readers, learn to value your relationships. People that cares about you do not deserve to be treated with disdain and levity. Learn to communicate with your partner. Learn to be yourself at all times and be truthful. I wish all the best with love.
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