Its a bright and sunny saturday, and believe me you, some badoo guyz are about to get hooked while some “peperenpe” are already in their wedding gowns. Today isn’t just another day, its a wedding day. Forgive me if I sound sarcastic about the whole wedding thing, probably am just too small or am not just ready to be boxed.
Marriage is a good thing and its a sacred engagement before God. Its when two people of opposite sex, having gone through the required courting and counselling stages, decides to become one in the sight of men and God. These days, marriage could be so much work and less fun. Parents spend fortunes in making sure their ward’s event went well without hitch. Nevertheless, the whole concept of marriage could have been misinterpreted or misguided. So if you are about to get married, here is what you should know:
Is getting married right for you? What do you need to know
before you walk down the aisle? Ask yourself the following questions:
#Why are you getting married?
Be honest and evaluate the reasons behind your engagement.
Write a list of pros and cons about your partner and your
relationship. If you have to talk yourself into marriage — don’t. If you have to talk your fiancé into marriage — no way! Make sure you are not getting married to escape or avoid something.
# Have you just always wanted to get married?
That’s not a good enough reason. If you get nauseous shopping for a wedding dress or seem to be sick every time you have to meet the caterer, listen to your body.
#Do you know and trust your partner’s personal history?
The best predictor of future behavior is relevant past behavior.
Learn from it. How has your partner behaved in past
relationships? How have they behaved with you? What has your partner learned about marriage from his/her parents? Look closely at your partner’s parents — children learn what they live.
#Have you planned a marriage — or just a wedding?
Cake, flowers and fine china are all exciting, but there’s more at stake than one day. Your wedding is a day; a marriage is a
lifetime. You don’t just want to be married, you want to be
happily married. Think about the next 50 years. Put at least the
same amount of time and effort that you are using to plan your wedding into planning your marriage. Develop an emotional prenuptial agreement with your partner, outlining how you’ll handle children, discipline, sex, money, division of labor, religion, careers, retirement, in-laws, geography, etc. If you don’t plan for and discuss these topics, you won’t be able to successfully merge two lives together.
#Are you investing more than you can afford to lose?
Look at the cost of your relationship. If you have to give up your friends, career, or family, for example, the cost is too high. If it all falls apart, are you going to be emotionally bankrupt? It is better to be healthy alone, than sick with someone else.
#Have you identified and communicated your needs and expectations?
Know yourself. You can’t determine if somebody is good for you if you don’t know your own needs. It’s not selfish to have goals within a relationship. Express your needs and expectations now — not when you’re already in the marriage. What are your absolute deal breakers? Do you know your partner’s?
My dear bachelors and spinsters, as you pen down the list of things to buy and the aso ebi’s to distribute, remember the above points and don’t forget there is a day after the wedding day, its called MARRIAGE. Don’t rush in so you won’t rush out…have a lovely weekend.
Credit: Dr phil couzha